Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize