He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
