come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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