he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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