if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
