Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
