Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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