Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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