Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
