Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
