is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
