cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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