So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
