WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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