Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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