i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
