Soap is not a condiment
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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