Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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