WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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