Please, let me fuck your mom
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
