So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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