There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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