I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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