I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
