I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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