If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
