Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sorry about my life...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
