It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
