I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
