yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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