Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
