Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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