I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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