dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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