Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
