I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
