Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
