It was confusing and full of hummus
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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