theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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