he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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