i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize