brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
