Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
