I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
