So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
