i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
