Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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