her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
