i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
