East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
