Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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