lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
