I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
