i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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