yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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