So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
