I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What a dumb baby whore.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
