wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
