I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
