Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
