Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
